Mr Scratch: Aftermath
by HermioneHotchner1
Summary: How will the normally stoic leader, SSA Aaron Hotchner, cope with his worst fears, and will his team be able to save him from himself or will he finally come crumbling down?
1. Shock and Confusion

"_Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'_

_'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him."_

― _George R.R. Martin_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"You have to talk about it," Dave said.

"Not tonight." I pleaded.

"Yes tonight, while it's still fresh," Dave encouraged.

"I can't" I say weakly. "It doesn't… parts of it don't make sense to me."

"They don't have to. Tell me what it smelt like. Tell me how it felt. Start at the beginning, start at the end… I don't care but start!

"Now, what do you remember?" Dave asks.

I'm sitting on the edge of the ambulance, staring off into the night. I hear Dave calling my name. He wants to talk about what happened tonight, but I don't know what's real. All I know is that a few short moments ago I thought my team, no my family was killed, and I know that I was seconds away from shooting the man in front of me.

"Aaron. Aaron. Hotch!" calls Rossi.

I look completely horror struck. Rossi doesn't know how much more of this I can take. Come on 'Aaron, please snap out of it', he nternally begs.

I finally look up and Dave asks, "What happened?"

"This is what happened, I pulled into the house, and grabbed my vest, and gun. I went inside, and she started talking, saying how he wanted me to see this, and she stabbed herself. I tried to help her, but I couldn't. Next thing I know he is behind me, and sprays me. I fire a couple shots, and I saw a vase, and tried to wash the drugs off my face. We fought a bit more, and hit me over the head, and I think he was wearing a gas mask," states Aaron.

"Okay, Aaron. Go on," Dave says encouragingly.

"He sprayed me again, and then everything just went foggy," says Aaron.

"Did you pass out?" inquires Dave.

"I believe so," says Aaron. "I can't remember anything for a minute or so."

"Alright, go on," says Dave.

"I thought I heard the phone ringing, but then it wasn't. He asked me what I saw when I looked at him; if I saw Mr. Scratch like the others. He told me I couldn't move, and I tried reaching for my phone, but my arms wouldn't respond. I said something, I think his name, and he told me I couldn't speak, and then I couldn't. They were there, but I couldn't get them to come out," says Aaron.

"What happened next?" asks Dave.

"I looked at Dr. Regan, and he told me not to cry for her, that she deserved what she got. He then said that she used to burn sage during the sessions, and I confronted him about how he would have had to have been there to know that," says Aaron.

"And then?" prods Dave.

"He said that I could talk, and that he wanted to know what I was feeling. My phone was ringing again or… still? I'm not sure," admits Aaron.

"That's fine Aaron, keep going," encourages Dave.

"I told him you were coming, and I told him what I knew about the sessions, and how coercive they were, and that he obviously was pushed to say the lies as well," says Aaron. "He then pointed my gun at my head, told me to shut up, and then said that it was so good, how I got into his head, and it made him want to know how to get into mine."

"What happened next?" asks Dave.

"We heard a car pull up, and I told him the team would kill him. He asked me if I was sure about that, and then," Aaron froze.

"What happened then, Aaron?" asks Dave.

"It was quit but shots were fired, and Jayje was screaming, and Derek told me to sound off, so I told him where I was. He came up to me, and I asked him where Lewis was, he said he had shot him, but he hadn't. Lewis came up behind him, and shot him," says Aaron shaking.

"What happened next?" asks Dave.

"He said that he now knew what scared me, and pointed my gun at me, I panicked, and he turned the gun pack on Morgan, and k-killed him," says Aaron.

"It's alright Aaron. Everyone's fine," says Dave.

"Next thing I know, everything was back to normal and he was sitting in front of me, and told me that I could move. You guys pulled up, and he gave me a knife, saying that he was coming through the door, and I had to kill him, before he killed me," says Aaron.

"Go on," encourages Dave.

"I told him that I needed my gun, and he tossed it. I grabbed it and aimed it at the door. I couldn't see him in the room with me anymore," says Aaron. "You and Reid opened the door, and just as that happened, I was somehow able to turn, and I shot… God Dave,"

"You shot at him, not us, Aaron," says Dave.

"I tried so hard to fight him Dave," says Aaron. "I almost killed you!"

"But you didn't Aaron," states Dave simply.

"It felt so real. I thought you all died." I said weakly.

"I know Aaron. I know," Dave says.

Dave puts his hand on my back, and l finally breakdown sobbing for the family I thought I lost.

After several minutes my breathing finally steadied.

"Ready to go?" Dave asks.

"Y-yes" I mumble.

On the drive back to Quantico, Aaron had remained silent. He was still trying to sort out what happened to him. Meanwhile, Dave was driving, and thinking about everything that his friend has been through. He has never seen that much terror in Hotch's eyes. "How much more can he take?" Dave asks himself.

As they walked back into headquarters, Hotch went to his office, and closed the door. Dave new better then to protest; he recognized the normally stoic leader needed some time to himself to process everything that happened.

Walking into the conference room, Dave was greeted by the rest of the team.

"How is he?" JJ asks.

"I honestly don't know," Dave sighs.

"What do you think he meant by 'You have no idea what I did to him?" asks Derek.

"Nothing good," says Dave grudgingly.

"It's late. Let's call it a night," Derek says.

"Agreed!" everybody chimes.

"Just give me a minute, to fetch Hotch," Dave says, and starts walking to Hotch's office.

Suddenly there was a knock.

"Aaron!" yells Dave, pulling the leader from his thoughts.

"W-what Dave?" I look up startled.

"It's late. Go home to your son," orders Dave.

"Fine." I mumble, and grab my things; quickly deciding to call Jessica to see if she could spend another night with Jack.

The next morning Hotch managed to roll himself out of bed, still exhausted from a mostly sleepless night. Quickly glancing at his phone he realizes he missed a call from Mateo Cruz. "Great!" he thought, deciding that he would wait to call the Section Chief back until after he's had some coffee. He was not looking forward to that particular conversation.

He didn't feel much better about it afterwards either. Cruz ordered a Psych Eval, which was expected, and ordered him to take a couple personal days as well.

He wasn't overly worried about the Psych Eval though. Hell, THEY wrote the questions. He hated them, but he could answer the questions in his sleep. He'd deal with it, and he would do anything to be back with his team.

**AT THE BAU:**

"Has anyone heard from Hotch?" Jayje asks.

"Yeah, Cruz wants him to take a few personal days. I'm Acting Unit Chief." says Derek.

"I'm worried about him." Dave says.

"And what Lewis said?" Derek prodded.

"Aren't you?" Kate shot back.

"Do you think Boss Man'll come back?" asks Penelope.

"I do Baby Girl. I just don't know what he'll look like when he does," says Derek. "He can't take much more!"

"I know," says Dave "Do we know how the suggestions work?"

"How long they last?" asks JJ.

"No idea. Why?" asks Derek.

"I'm just thinking about what Lewis said, and what Hotch told me. Lewis wanted him to shoot us - the first person walking through the door – but he fought it. What if he can't keep fighting it?" says Dave.

"Then we get him the help he needs. He's family" says Derek.

"Anything for family!" says Penelope.

"I'm going over there later," says Dave.

**Hotch's POV:**

I've been lost in my thoughts for most of the day. With Jack being at school, I have the apartment to myself, and there's not much else to do. Haley always did joke that I was actually married to my job and team.

I'm exhausted, but after the nightmare last night, I don't want to risk sleep, and regardless Dave called to tell me he's planning on coming over later.

"Lewis was right." I think to myself. "Whatever happens to him or me now, he wins. Everything is still so vivid, and I can't get what he tried forcing me to do out of my head. What I almost did. I can't get my dead team out of my head; my worst nightmare. What if I hadn't been able to turn just in time? I'd be sitting in a jail cell, and Dave, who's like my brother, would be dead because of me." Feeling sick, I try to shake that thought away.


	2. Fear

"_Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself!" by Walter Anderson_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Nervously Dave walks up to the apartment. He isn't sure what to expect from the normally stoic leader, who seems to be close to breaking.

There was a loud knock at the door.

"Come in!" I yell.

"You look like hell," Dave says after opening the door.

"Thanks for that," I reply. "Have you talked to Cruz?"

"Yeah, he's making you take some personal time. I agree," says Dave.

"I know I should, but…" I start to argue.

"No buts!" interrupts Dave. "You saw what this did to the other victims."

"I know, but I need to work Dave," I confess.

"You also need to take care of yourself," Dave lightly admonishes.

"Can we not talk about this right now?" I plead.

"Aaron!" Dave says, disgruntledly.

"I'm fine Dave, really. I just need some time," I assure.

"Alright, I give. But, care to explain why you didn't want your son home last night?" Dave prods.

"Dave!" I exclaim angrily.

"No Aaron. I am not letting this cost you your son," states Dave, forcefully.

"I am not any less committed or try any less hard for my son," I say.

"Everybody has their breaking point," says Dave.

"I guess," I say.

Just then Dave's phone rings.

"David Rossi here…." and Dave starts rambling.

After hanging up the phone Dave speaks up again.

"I'm sorry Hotch, but I've got to go," explains Dave.

"It's fine," I reply emotionlessly.

"Consider talking to someone, and I am still waiting for an answer. I'll stop by later, and you better have a good one," says Dave stoically.

"Is that an order?" I ask sarcastically.

"No, it's a tempered suggestion," states Dave.

"Yeah… tempered suggestion," I say resentfully.

"Consider it," says Dave, as he closes the door behind him.

On his own again the normally resigned man was forced back into his own torturous thoughts. He couldn't understand why Lewis surrendered. He had expected him to do suicide-by-cop; in fact, he counted on it. Now there was a man who knew his deepest fear, one that he always tried to keep hidden. It felt like Foyet all over again.

He knew Dave was right and he should try to open up, and deal with this, for the sake of his son. However, that was easier said than done; especially, when you're in the habit of shutting others out.

**AT THE BAU:**

"How is he?" Kate asks.

"How did it go?" asks Derek

"He looked like hell," says Dave.

"What do you mean?" asks Derek

"I overheard something Hotch said on the phone last night with Jessica, and I called him on it." states Dave "I just hope I didn't push too hard."

"He left Jack at Jessica's didn't he?" JJ asks, although it was more of a statement.

"He did, and I get why, but I had to try and push him. I refuse to let this job cost him his son," says Dave.

"How do you help someone who doesn't want help though?" Spencer says, finally speaking up.

"Good question," replies Dave.

"Less than 40% of people suffering from PTSD will seek help, and 8% of the population has it at some point in their lives," states Spencer.

"We need get him to open up." says Dave. "Hopefully he'll take our little heart to heart seriously, although he wasn't exactly happy with me, and what I implied in regards to his parenting."

"Well, if it gets him to snap out of his head, then it's worth it!" says JJ "And I think it will."

At this everyone looks at JJ.

"When I was struggling after my kidnapping, and Spence confronted me, what finally got through to me was the fear of being changed drastically and it taking my family from me. I refused to let Askari and Hastings cost me my son," JJ confessed.

"Parental instincts triumph everything," says Kate

"Agreed!" says JJ.

**Hotch's POV:**

Another day gone and not much sleep; "Damn these nightmares!" Aaron silently cursed to himself. He hated feeling this way, and he felt so confused.

He had gone and picked up Jack, and his son was now sleeping peacefully. He loved it, and wished he could keep the little boy in the next room innocent forever.

He kept thinking about what Dave said earlier that day about his son. "How dare he suggest that I don't put my son first!" he thought to himself; but, as much as he wanted to be mad he knew that Dave was just trying to force his hand in dealing with this. For that, he really appreciated what Dave was trying to do, even if he didn't like in the least bit how he was going about it. A part of him believed that Dave was right though and that filled him with extreme regret. Something had to give here.

After what felt like ages he finally fell back asleep, but not before vowing to do whatever he needed to do to beat this. He would NOT let his job cost him his incredible little boy. He lost his wife because of it, but he would be damned if he let the job destroy the one good thing he had left in his life. His son was everything to him.

He wasn't overly worried about the Psych Eval though. Hell, THEY wrote the questions. He hated them, but he could answer the questions in his sleep. He'd deal with it, and he would do anything to be back with his team.

**AT THE BAU:**

"Has anyone heard from Hotch?" JJ asks.

"Yeah, Cruz wants him to take a few personal days. I'm Acting Unit Chief." says Derek.

"I'm worried about him." Dave says.

"And what Lewis said?" Derek prodded.

"Aren't you?" Kate shot back.

"Do you think Boss Man'll come back?" asks Penelope.

"I do Baby Girl. I just don't know what he'll look like when he does," says Derek. "He can't take much more!"

"I know," says Dave "Do we know how the suggestions work?"

"How long they last?" asks JJ.

"No idea. Why?" asks Derek.

"I'm just thinking about what Lewis said, and what Hotch told me. Lewis wanted him to shoot us - the first person walking through the door – but he fought it. What if he can't keep fighting it?" says Dave.

"Then we get him the help he needs. He's family" says Derek.

"Anything for family!" says Penelope.

"I'm going over there later," says Dave.

**Hotch's POV:**

I've been lost in my thoughts for most of the day. With Jack being at school, I have the apartment to myself, and there's not much else to do. Haley always did joke that I was actually married to my job and team.

I'm exhausted, but after the nightmare last night, I don't want to risk sleep, and regardless Dave called to tell me he's planning on coming over later.

"Lewis was right." I think to myself. "Whatever happens to him or me now, he wins. Everything is still so vivid, and I can't get what he tried forcing me to do out of my head. What I almost did. I can't get my dead team out of my head; my worst nightmare. What if I hadn't been able to turn just in time? I'd be sitting in a jail cell, and Dave, who's like my brother, would be dead because of me." Feeling sick, I try to shake that thought away.


	3. Truths Revealed

"_Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise." – Sigmund Freud_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

After picking up Jack from school, he walked to his apartment only to find that Dave was waiting for him. He sighed, and opened the door to the apartment.

After a few minutes of listening to Jack tell him about his day, and seeing his school project, Dave decided to find out where Aaron's head was at after the previous day's confrontation. He knew he hit a nerve but it had to be done, and he knew Aaron would understand eventually.

"Hey Jack, can me and your dad have a few minutes please?" Dave said, receiving a look of resignation from the older Hotchner.

"Sure Uncle Dave!" said Jack, as he dutifully headed off to work on some of his model planes; a hobby that he and his dad shared.

"I knew this was coming," I think bitterly.

"So Hotch, did you think about what I said yesterday?" Dave starts.

"Yes." Aaron says emotionlessly.

"And?" Dave prods.

"Not now Dave!" I plead.

"I know you didn't want to hear it Aaron but you needed to. Snap out of it, or a might as well hand you a loaded gun," Dave states surprisingly calmly.

"You're right!" I admit, hanging my head, unable to meet my friend's eyes. "But, did you really have to pull that parenting card?"

"That's a start,"" Dave encourages. "And yes, I did. My wife always said I had a flair for the dramatic."

"Which one?" I ask curiously.

"All of them," Dave admits.

"Something has to give Dave," I state. "I don't want to lose my son."

"I know," Dave states simply. "So, why did you leave Jack at Jessica's?"

"I am scared out of my mind Dave, and I didn't want Jack to see me like that," Aaron confesses.

"What are you scared of?" Dave prods a bit more.

"Honestly, myself," I reply weakly.

"Why?" questions Dave,.

I just ignore the question, and sit there silently.

"Aaron, you're not avoiding this!" Dave harshly says.

"Fine!" I mumble under my breath. "I feel like I am going insane, and I almost killed you Dave! Lewis even boasted about what he did to me!"

"But you didn't kill me Aaron. You fought him," Dave says simply.

"It was so hard to fight, and you know that all of his victims killed someone! Who says it won't happen again, or that I'll be able to fight it?" I say desperately.

"You're scared that you might snap?" questions Dave.

"Yes," I yell. "I have blanks in my memory, and who knows what I forgot!"

"We won't let you go off the deep end Aaron," says Dave.

"You can't say that Dave," I accuse.

"Yes I can Aaron," Dave says. "There's a reason that I am constantly visiting, and I tried pushing you to deal with this."

"Damn! He's shutting down!" Dave thinks to himself.

"Aaron, a coffee if I may?" says Dave, trying to keep Aaron engaged.

"U-uh sure," I say and head to the kitchen, feeling grateful for the brief change in conversation.

Coming back into the living room, both take a few sips of coffee, before Dave starts up again.

"Did you leave anything out in your testimony?" Dave asks.

"What, no! Why would I?" I retort obviously offended.

"Just thought I'd ask," says Dave. "Although if you did, it might explain what Lewis meant."

"So much of it doesn't make sense," I say.

"That's understandable," says Dave.

"I can't believe I thought this case was going to be simple! Who would have ever thought that we'd be dealing with mind control, and the boogeyman of all things? I feel like I've seen everything now," I say with a half-hearted chuckle.

"Agreed. This job definitely keeps you on your toes." says Dave.

"Dad, Uncle Dave! Come see my new planes!" exclaims Jack excitedly. "It's like the BAU jet! Dad showed me pictures!"

"Did he now?" inquired Dave.

"Yeah, it's awesome!" says Jack.

"It better not have been the photo from my last birthday Aaron!" Dave says laughing.

"It might have been!" I say with a smirk.

"Oh you're a dead man mio fratello!" says Dave.

"Whatever!" I say and the two start laughing.

"Hurry up!" says Jack

"Alright, alright, we're coming!" I say/

"He's laughing; there might be hope for him yet," Dave silently hopes.


	4. First Case Back!

"_That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key." - Elizabeth Wurtzel_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Walking into the BAU I am happy to finally get to work. I've been off for two weeks and although Cruz tried to make me take more time off, I am cleared and ready to work. I was also getting slightly stir crazy.

"BAU Team, Conference Room in 10 please!" I announce.

"Welcome back Hotch!" says Reid.

"Are you sure two weeks is enough time?" says Morgan.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I am ready to get back to work," I say.

"Then let's do this." says Derek.

**THE CONFERNCE ROOM:**

"Welcome, welcome! He's at it again in Occoquan," starts Garcia. "In the last month, 3 bodies have turned up in Occoquan Regional Park after being tortured. The first victim, Skylar Davis, was found 3 weeks ago, Noah Jones, 1 week ago, and the 3rd victim, James Moore, yesterday. He keeps them for 24 hours, and the Tox Screens, revealed drugs in their systems."

"It says here Davis was a lawyer, Jones was an accountant, and Moore was an attorney. So they are all high-profile victims." says JJ.

"He has a physical type as well. All of the victims are white males, who are skinny, but in fairly good shape, and have dark hair," says Reid.

"He uses Diazepam too," I say.

At this Morgan and Rossi give each other a knowing look.

"He might need the drugs to overpower them," says Morgan.

"Wheals up in 30," I say.

"My first case back, and it has to involve drugs, and I have to fit the victimology perfectly. This is just absolutely great!" Hotch silently cursed to himself.

"Are you alright Hotch?" asks Morgan.

"Yeah I'm fine," I say. "I'm just going to go grab my Go Bag."

"Alright then," says Morgan.

A few moments later I am out of earshot and Morgan speaks up.

"Hey Rossi," says Morgan, "this is going to be a rough case."

"You're telling me," says Rossi. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"You're not the only one," says Morgan.

It's now 6 days later, and they are getting ready to confront the Unsub, Michael Phillips. They caught him when he started inserting himself into the investigation, and they realized he had a questionable past.

It didn't escape the team's notice that their Unit Chief was definitely more on edge than usual. It was understandable as it was his first case back, and well he certainly fight the victimology.

They just hopped that the case would be closed soon.

"Morgan and Reid, you two take the barn," I order. "Rossi and I will take the front. Callahan, and JJ, you two take the back. Go, go, go!"

At this everyone split up.

**IN THE HOUSE:**

"Callahan, and JJ, you take the second floor," I order. "We'll take the basement."

"Alright Hotch," says Kate, and they head to the stair

"Clear!" yells JJ.

"Clear!" yells Callahan.

Carefully Hotch nears a room with a light on.

"I think I've got something," said Hotch into his comm.

Unfortunately for him when he opens the door, he is taken by surprise.

Rossi quickly heads to the room and opens the door, gun at the ready, to see Hotch and Phillips staring each other down, with a subdued Owen Schneider.

"Put the gun down Michael," I say.

"I can't do that Agent Hotchner," replies Michael.

"Yes you can Michael," says Rossi. "We just want to talk."

"Yeah right," retorts Michael. "Let me leave."

"You killed 4 people Michael," I say. "You know we can't do that."

"They deserved it," says Michael.

"What Bishop did was horrible, but killing these men doesn't change the past Michael," says Rossi.

"If you tell us we can help you," I say. "But, you have to let Owen go."

"Why should I trust you?" retorts Michael.

"It's over," I say.

At this point JJ and Callahan appear behind Rossi; just in time to see one Michael Philipps shaking his head furiously.

"It's over Michael," says Rossi. "Bishop is gone. You have to let these men go. It won't change what happened to you."

"I'm sorry," says Michael making a sudden move. It happened fast but a shot rang out, and Phillips dropped to the ground having been shot in the gut.

Everyone quickly glances at Hotch who had made the shot.

"Call a bus!" I call holstering his gun and running over to Owen, while Derek went to

"On it," says JJ.

Once the ambulances arrive Hotch hops into the ambulance with Schneider; with Rossi promising to meet him at the hospital.


	5. Agent Down!

"_My friends and family are my support system. They tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear and they are there for me in the good and bad times. Without them I have no idea where I would be and I know that their love for me is what's keeping my head above the water." - Kelly Clarkson_

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

Rossi arrives at the hospital room just in time to hear something the stoic profiler says to Schneider.

"If you ever need anything," I say handing him a card.

"Thank you," says Owen with a nod.

With a nod I leave the room.

"Hey Hotch," says Rossi. "How is he?"

"He'll be fine physically," I say.

Rossi decides to make a mental note to discuss my specifics at a later date.

"And yourself?" asks Rossi. "I know this case hasn't been easy for you."

"I'm fine," I reply.

"Hotch –" says Rossi.

"I'm fine," I say. "I'll see you at the jet."

The next evening the team flew back to Quantico.

"Jessica is taking Jack for another night," states Dave. "And you're coming over."

"Dave!" I say angrily.

"At least for one night!" demands Dave.

"I don't need a babysitter," I state.

"I am not taking no for an answer Aaron," interjects Dave. "It wasn't a suggestion."

"I'm fine Dave," I retort.

"God Aaron, no you're not fine! You're far from it!" yells Dave.

"Dave!" I yell.

"No Aaron. The only other place I've seen '_that look' _that you've had recently, was back in Vietnam." scolds Dave.

I mutter something under my breath and go to stand up.

"No Aaron, I'm not letting you dig your grave," replies Dave pushing him down.

"Can we do this later?" I plead.

"Later TODAY Aaron," replies Dave.

"Fine! I just want some sleep," I say bitterly.

"Alright. I'll wake you when we land," Dave says as calmly as possible. _Great, he's shutting down!_

"Fine," I say realizing there was no point in arguing with the man.

On the way to Dave's I say nothing, and just keep to my thoughts. I couldn't understand why everything was still bugging me.

I also had to admit that Dave had a point, even if I hated it. Jessica should probably watch Jack for another night, and I didn't really want to be alone in my apartment.

"You can sleep here," says Dave pointing to the guest room.

"Thanks," I mumble.

"I'm going to make dinner," says Dave. "Holler if you need me."

"I'm fine Dave," I say coldly.

"Whatever you say," says Dave, heading to the kitchen, leaving Aaron with his thoughts.

They had Spaghetti alla Carrettiera for dinner, and I called it an early night. I didn't want to listen to Dave, and I just walked out during the conversation.

Dave however, was up all night, worrying about me. He tried to get me to talk but I wouldn't, and eventually Dave had to give up.

The next morning, Dave was making breakfast, and he dropped some pans, startling Aaron awake. Panicking he searched for his gun, and headed down stairs.

"You!" I call.

"Aaron, put the gun down. It's just me," says Dave

"I can't do that," I say.

"Aaron, listen to me. I'm not Lewis," says Dave anxiously. _God Aaron, please don't do this!_

"I have to do this," I state shakily.

"No you don't, Aaron," pleads Dave. "You can fight this."

"I have to do this Lewis," I say emotionlessly.

"Aaron, give me the gun," urges Dave.

Shots ring out.


	6. Questions!

"_Sometimes when people are under stress, they hate to think, and it's the time when they most need to think." - William J. Clinton_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Suddenly Aaron wakes up with a start, to find Dave standing beside his bed.

"Dave you're alive…. You're alive," I say through tears.

"Everyone's fine Aaron." replies Dave.

"It just seems so real," I say weakly. _God, I'm going crazy!_

"I'm fine," says Dave. "Want to talk about it?"

"I woke up and shot you in the kitchen," I sigh.

"You didn't shoot anyone Aaron," says Dave. "I'm fine, you're fine."

"I hate this," I say.

"Hate what?" asks Dave.

"Feeling like this," reply. "I keep second guessing everything."

Dave just nods. For someone who was so used to being in complete control feeling like he lost it was some really difficult to swallow.

"Did you ever consider that this is exactly what he wanted?" inquires Dave. "He wanted to have this power over you."

"He's certainly doing a good job," I retort. "I made an error at the beginning of the case that could have cost us everything."

"You did your job and closed the case," replies Dave. "You know cases never go perfect. Things always happen."

"I know," I sigh.

"Doesn't Jack have a soccer game today?" inquires Dave.

"Yeah," I nod. "At noon."

"Great," says Dave happily. "I'm sure they'll do great. Now, how about we go have some breakfast."

"Sure," I say getting out of bed.

Several hours later I was at the soccer game, and Dave decided to touch face with the others.

"How is he?" asks Spencer.

"Half-fast compartmentalizing," replies Dave. "He's barely talked to his son."

"Jesus Christ," says Derek.

"What the hell did he do to him Rossi?" demands JJ.

"I have no idea Kiddo," says Dave solemnly. "But, I am going to find out if it kills me."

"We're definitely missing something," said Spencer.

"We need to figure out what the hell's going on!" says Derek angrily.

"Agreed. Anyone fancy a trip to a prison?" asks Dave.

"I'm in. Let's go." says Derek. _I want answers, and now!_

"Keep us in the loop," called JJ as they walked away.

After an hour and a half the two agents finally arrived.

"SSAs Morgan, and Rossi, from the FBI," says Morgan, as they pull out their badges, to show to the security guard.

"Go on in," says the officer.

"Peter Lewis, I am agent Rossi, and this is agent Morgan," says Rossi. "We have some questions for you."

"You want to know what I did to your friend?" inquires Peter with a smirk.

"Yes," says Morgan. "And you're going to tell us."

"Oh, but you already have all of the pieces. Has he done anything yet to warrant concern?" says Peter laughing.

"Lewis, DO NOT waist our time," says Rossi coldly.

"Like I said, you have all the pieces, or at least one of you does," says Peter.

"Agent Hotchner?" questions Rossi.

"I'm not talking about him. I'm however shocked that your resident genius hasn't been able to figure it out," says Peter, with an air of superiority.

"Enough of your games," yells Morgan. "Tell us what you did!" losing control.

"This was a nice little chat. Do come back and tell me if your Dr. Reid figures anything out will you?" says Peter smirking.

"Son of a bitch," yells Morgan.

"Come on Morgan, he's not going to talk. Maybe Reid can tell us something," says Rossi leaving the interrogation cell, with a livid Derek Morgan.

Seeing Derek and Dave walking up, JJ is the first to speak up.

"Great, you guys are back! But, you said he didn't tell you anything?" says JJ.

"No, he just said that we have all the pieces, and that he is shocked pretty boy here, hasn't figured it out already!" says Derek..

"Can I go over Hotch's statement?" inquires Spencer.

"Spence?" inquires JJ.

"Here," says Dave passing a document.

"Great," says Reid. "And has Hotch said anything else that might help?"

"Just that parts of what happened that night don't make sense to him, and that he keeps second guessing himself and hates it," says Rossi. "Although this seems more and more likely to be the MO."

Closing up Hotch's file Reid turns to them.

"Hotch's phone pops up several times," says Reid. "As matter of fact I think it's strictly mind games with Hotch."

"I'd hoped so," says Rossi.

"Lewis obviously had to modify the hallucinogen to be able to control it," says Reid.

"And?" says Rossi. _Just get to the point please kid…._

"Everyone reacts to drugs differently," replies Reid. "I, for one, became addicted. Also, look at how Christine reacted to the Sage when Hotch burned it."

"So you think this is some sort of weird withdrawal?" asks Callahan clearly confused.

"Not at all, actually!" says Reid. "But it was used to pull out their primal fears."

"Alright," says Morgan. "What does that mean?"

"Us as a team surface in all of it," says Reid. "Even the phone calls."

"Get to the point kid," pleads Rossi.

"He wouldn't have had time to create something like what happened with Christine," says Reid. "Hers came readymade, but sage would never have the same effect on Hotch."

"Go on," says Rossi.

"He talks about him watching her die," says Reid "Are we entirely sure that she wasn't already dead?"

"It's hard to say," says Morgan. "I guess it's possible."

"Lewis was also interested in Hotch's interest in his phone," says Reid. "I believe that told Lewis a lot of what he needed to know."

"Taking that into consideration, with the time he had he wanted Hotch to second guess himself and feel as guilty as possible," says Rossi. "He wanted him to feel guilty about his team, and about Dr. Regan's death."

"None of this is exactly ground breaking but it is good perspective," says JJ.

"Exactly," says Reid. "And if you notice it's only the guys who die. The girls are scared, and JJ screams, but it is the people he identifies with who die."

"I did notice that pattern," agreed Rossi.

"Lewis also seemed to hope that Hotch did something concerning," said Morgan.

"Can anyone find anything to suggest he isn't just gas-lighting?" asked Rossi.

"No," they all agree.

"Now we just need to help Aaron see it and move on," says Dave.

"We'll help him through this," says Penelope speaking up.

"Of course," said Derek.

"Nobody deserves this," says JJ.

"No," agrees Dave. "Especially not Aaron."


End file.
